I've been thinking a lot lately--about myself, my family, the world. I've realized that all my life I've been trying to be something I'm not. I've looked at others with amazing, exceptional talents and qualities, and then made this perfect image in my mind of who I want to be. The only problem is that this person is PERFECT and basically Superman (or woman)! So every day, I end up feeling guilty for not achieving everything I wanted to. But I am HUMAN. I have flaws, even though I hate to admit them to others. I make tons of mistakes. I procrastinate. I would rather spend my free time blogging than practicing violin, which I should be doing right now since I have an audition this weekend. I get upset that I can't fit into my pants, even though HELLO, I just had a baby 6 weeks ago. So here's the moral:
Life is beautiful. It is hard. It can be challenging. And I am NOT perfect and never will be in this life. And you know what? I can be me. I don't have to be an amazing photographer or scrapbooker. I don't have to be an outgoing crazy fun person. I can be who I am and love myself for that. And sure, if I want to improve in areas, I can focus on them and will see results if I'm willing to put in the time and work. But until that happens, I love me for who I am. And I love all of you for who you are.
I guess this is my first i love post. I love me. And if I love me, I can love others. I am much more selfless when I love myself. Isn't there a triangle of love: God at the top, then you and your spouse below? Well, I hope to come to love God more each day because he will never stop loving me, regardless of my faults and incapabilities. I want to read the scriptures more and to come to have them be my TRUE source of inspiration. Time to go practice while the kids are still asleep!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Breakthrough
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9 comments:
Thanks Janae. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. I look at all the people around me and think that I should have all their good qualities in one person - me. Then I get discouraged. But I love your post. It was inspiring!
So...I think you touched on something all of us feel. I just wrote about this same thing two days ago. It's not on my blog but I'll email it to you. You are not alone my friend. I look at you as perfect just like I see everyone else around me. I think it's a musician thing...constant critical eyes and ears. Your thoughts were just what I needed to read today and everyday. Love you!
That was so honest and awesome of you. I think we all have those feelings because we spend too much time comparing ourselves to others. It is getting to the point of loving yourself for your unique qualities that is difficult. You are there and that is awesome.
You are an amazing woman Janae and a wonderful, excellent and amazing mother! Your kids adore you. And yes, we all at times feel and do exactly what you wrote about. Keep remembering who you are and what you want to accomplish and do in your life and than you will ultimately be happy, WITH YOU! You have talents that I envy in you, see we all do it. I laving having you as a friend and having you so close again.
Keep up what you are doing! Remember who you want to be!
Thanks for the post. I've thought a lot about this lately as having some major trials, being mom to 2 kids & a 3-year old have turned my world upside down. I really think that loving and accepting ourselves is one of the greatest challenges we face as women, but doesn't it feel good when we have those breakthrough moments. Just remember, we always see others at their best & we imagine that's what they are always like...not so. We're all human. Keep on keepin' on, Janae. You're great.
hey girl i have been catching up on your blog. love the picture of aubrey alseep on the floor. and Zach (love that name by the way- almost named carson that) is so cute. love the hair. don't worry about aubrey waking up when Zach cries they learn to sleep through it. I would go feed carson at 3am and then all of a sudden i would hear lily say "HI mom" and be all wake. that doesn't happen anymore. p.s your breakthrough post is great.
Im sure a lot of people are readign this now, thanks to candace, but I am so glad! I feel EXACTLY that way, I just can't express it lately. The only thing that comes out is i hate myself. SO here I am unloading on a total stranger to tell you thank you- i will try loving myself and others, what a great place to start to get back to the self I loved.
I'm glad your back. I checked your blog a lot when you didn't write. I am glad to see that you are back and your baby is doing so good. I think we all have times where we feel like that. Especially after having a baby and moving away from all family. I've done that before and it is hard. Keep writing! You're amazing!
You are wonderful. Thank you for being so honest and allowing me to relate to someone elses feelings. You are more amazing than you realize.
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